she said what?!

 

While eating a cupcake at Starbucks she takes a bite then looks at me and says………….

“So how are you today?”

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In the bathroom at Barnes & Noble, a little boy is in the stall next to us…………………

“He’s peeing with his penises! (yes plural)  Girls have vagina’s and boys have penises right Mom?!”

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While on the toilet…………………

“I gotta go poop.  HERE WE GO!!!”

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She sees a bald guy at Costco and says (loudly)………..

“Some guys have hair and some don’t!!”

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She sneezes and says………………..

“Bless you me.”

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Me – “Morgan, what would you think if I left tomorrow and you stayed at the cabin with Grandma & Grandpa?”

Morgan – “Yea, but leave some snacks…………………and some GUM!”

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Me – “Morgan make sure to take your high heels off if you walk down the stairs, I don’t want you to fall.”

Morgan – “But I look cute in these!!”

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Me – “Let’s go Morgan, it’s nap time.”

Morgan – “Awwwww, come on!!!!!!!”

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Me – “Where’s that gummy worm I gave you?”

Morgan – “I tied it on my toe, then I went like this (lifts her toe into her mouth) yum, yum and I ate it!  That was my magic trick.”

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While sick………………….

“Maybe I should watch some Curious George.  That will feel me better.”

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After instead of napping she destroyed her room, looks around and says…………

“Well, this sure is a big mess to clean up.” (with her hands on her hips)

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I was putting laundry away when Morgan runs into & then back out of my bedroom.

“I put something in your boob case!”

I look down on the bed and she had stuck some hi-ho cherry o game pieces in my bra.  Aka boob case I guess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

We were playing Barbies.  I as always was Ken and she was Ballerina Barbie.  She says……………..

“Oh, I forgot to ask you something.  Do you have a penis?”

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Marc – “Did you fart Morgan?”

Morgan – “Yeah I SUPER did!”

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Pointing to a pimple on her thigh she says……………….

“Look Mom, I have a little nipple.”

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Me – “I think after lunch we should go for a walk”

Morgan – “Oh, that would be perfect!”

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Me – “Morgan, do you want to go to the zoo tomorrow?”

Morgan – “Yeah!  It’ll be a great day!”

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Pretend phone conversation she was having………

“Hello?”

“Who’s this?”

“Is this Sicky & Licky?”

“I was just talking about you!”

“Oh wonderful!”

“Well see ya later.”

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While helping me with laundry Morgan was dragging her laundry bag into the mud room and she says……..

“Ugh!  This is heavy!  I need to workout tomorrow!”

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We were playing “baseball” with a balloon & a spatula.  I was the pitcher, her the batter. 

Morgan – “Talk like a boy again Mom.”

Me – “Okay.” (in a boy voice)

Morgan – “And pretend you have a penis.”

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Morgan was scribbling “words” down on a piece of paper.

Morgan – “Look Mom, that says your name.  Mommy Reese Carlson!”

Me – “Actually my name is Heather Lynn Carlson.”

Morgan – “Nope, it’s not anymore, I changed it.”

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Me – “Morgan please get your underwear back on now.”

Morgan – “Why?  Who’s coming over?”

Me – “A bunch of kids from playgroup are.”

Morgan – “Oh no!  Hurry!  I gotta hide my butt!  Hurry, hurry!”

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While playing with an old cell phone of Marc’s……………..

Morgan – “I’m just going to type a text to email.  I gotta see if rice cakes have honey and syrup in them.  Then I gotta put it on my blog.”

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Our ice maker made a noise……………..

Morgan – “What was that?!”

Me – “It was just the ice maker.”

Morgan – “Oh!  I thought it was a fairy godmother.”

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We were playing pretend “camping” and she farted………..

Morgan – “Did you hear that!?!  It was a toot snake!”

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While snuggling in bed at the end of the day……………….

Morgan – “Why do pigs have curly tails?”

Me – “Because that’s the way they were made.”

Morgan – “Who made them?”

Me – “God made them.”

Morgan – “I don’t know who God is.”

Me – “Yeah I don’t really either.”

Morgan – “Well we gotta look it up tomorrow on the computer.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After reading the book “The Little Mermaid”……..

Morgan – “Hey!  How does Ariel go potty?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me – “When you start preschool soon you’ll eat lunch there!”

Morgan – “Oh, wow…………..”

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Morgan – “I don’t like celery!”

Me – “Locke likes celery.”

Morgan – “You’ve got to be kidding me!!!!!!!!!”

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After a long day at the Minnesota Zoo…………….

Morgan – “Carry me!  I don’t have any strength!!”

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Morgan – (whispering) “Hey, can I have my scissors?”

Marc – “Why are you whispering?”

Morgan – “Cuz Mommy took my scissors away today and I don’t want her to hear me.  Can I have them?” (still whispering)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me – “Morgan are you ready to leave yet?”

Morgan – “No I am not.  I need to put my eye shadow on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were playing “friends”, a game we made up where we just pretend we’re…..yep, friends. 😉

Morgan – “I’m just going to type a text to email quick.  I have to see if rice cakes have honey and syrup in them.  I put it on my blog.”

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We were sitting at the kitchen table and the ice maker in the refridgerator made a noise.

Morgan – “What was that?!”

Me – “It was just the ice maker.”

Morgan – “Oh!  I thought it was a fairy godmother.”

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Morgan was holding her broom above her head up in the air.

Me – “Be careful with that please you might drop it on your head.”

Morgan – “Well I have strong abs.”

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I glanced back at Morgan while I was at a red light.

Me – “Morgan, where are your shoes?”

Morgan – “I took them off because they were touching me.”

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We had just pulled up to Caribou Coffee so we could run in and she could use the bathroom.

Morgan – “Should we get something?!”

Me – “Sure, what did you have in mind?”

Morgan – “Hmmmmm, I think I’ll have a latte!”

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As we were laying in her bed settling down for the night she started talking about her night over at my parents house.

Morgan – “Grandpa gave me a ride in the wheel barrow and then dumped me out!”

Me – “He did?  Wow!”

Morgan – “Yeah, it was pretty fun……….(sighs with a smile on her face).”

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First day of preschool I asked her what she did or if she learned anything.

Morgan – “Some boys pee standing up and some don’t!”

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